Fixing A Broken Heart ( After The Loving...)

I just can’t help but feel some pity for someone I saw on the news days ago. He killed himself for having some troubles with his girlfriend. A friend who was watching with me at that time laughed and said that he’s crazy, for how could he kill himself just for having a broken heart? 

Some people may react different ways about the idea of having a broken heart because of failed relationships. At most, especially if you are not the one suffering from it, you may think that the broken hearted’s feelings will just go away in just a click. Some people may feel so depressed and may even result to self-directed hatred and worst of all, suicide.
In reality, no matter how we react to it, having a broken heart can be devastating. It can rob you off your self worth and you could find yourself struggling so hard that you may fail to live normally like you used to. 

Let’s face the fact that a failed relationship wherein we have to lose someone is like dealing with death and dying. Not every one of us is equipped with so much ability to adjust and bounce back like nothing had happened. Aside from that, as long as we keep a relationship, we invest on our emotions and time for the one we love. We sacrifice many things just to be with him or even cope with his expectations and demands just to find ourselves in the middle of nowhere when the relationship dies.

Truly, broken hearts can also mean broken dreams and broken promises. As soon as we lose the one we love, we have to face life without him. Here are a few ways to mend a broken heart and somehow ease the pain.

•  On the first day after the break up and within a week:

1. Cry as much as you need to. You may refrain from doing the routine that you do everyday. Take some time off from work or school. Do what you like at home or anywhere that you feel like going. If you feel like sleeping all day, do it. Indulge with your comfort food while you cry and sob as much as you need to.

2. Call a trusted friend to talk to. Talk all about your hurts and how you feel. Pour out all the emotions that are inside you. You can ask your friend to be with you to watch some movie, or watch a marathon of any TV series that enables you to keep off your mind from thinking too much. You can choose from comedy, to movies that may make you cry. Surprising as it may seem, but watching some sad movies during a hard time may also help in the healing process. 

3. Accept the reality that a relationship that you thought would last did not work out. And appreciate the fact that although you are now heart broken, for once in your life, you fell in love. It does not necessarily mean that once you have accepted this fact, you are healed from a broken heart. Acknowledge how the pain is hurting you so bad at the moment.

4. Pray as much as you need to and as long as you feel like doing it. No matter where you are, if you feel the urge to pray, pray from the heart. Cry out loud in prayer that you can make it through the grieving process.

• After a week:

1. Make sure that on this day, you have acknowledged the fact that you have lost someone that you hold dear in your heart. Start and try to socialize again even if you don’t feel like doing it at this moment. Make sure that you don’t cry as often as the days after the break up. 

2. Express how you feel through your journal or as always, talk to a trusted friend or love one.

3. Go out of town to change your environment. This will minimize you from missing your ex. Staying on the same place and having a chance to pass by a place where you both used to spend time together may cause you to miss him even more. Your working place or school may also be one of the places where you think of him all the more for it is where he fetches you or where you meet everyday.

4. Listen to relaxing music or even to love songs. Some may make you cry but after that, you may feel better.

5. Do a hobby that you have been longing to spend more time on.

6. Call your ex if you feel like calling him, but if fighting with him is a possibility, DON’T CALL AT ALL. If you need to tell him some things but are not sure if it will only cause a fight, try writing it on your journal or compose a letter for him but NEVER mail it. The most vital thing at this moment is that you can bring out all your feelings and say all sorts of hurtful words that you long to say whether he will know them or not.

7. Remove everything that he has given you like love letters or any keepsakes from your sight. You can throw or burn them or just give away the keepsakes. However, if you don’t feel like doing this, just keep them away from your sight so that you will not be tempted to look at them over and over again and you won’t be reminded of your ex often.

• …. And onwards:

1. You can always do what you have done in the past week, but make sure not to attempt to call your ex anymore no matter what.

2. Never stop surrounding your self with people and friends that emphasize the positive in your life.

3. Start pampering your self, exercise, and start a balanced diet. This will not only boost the production of your feel-good hormones which are helpful in keeping the blues away, but it will also make you look better as you reach your ideal weight. On the other hand, a balanced diet will also help you have better-looking skin and a better mood.

4. Take time to relax. Do a beauty makeover if you wish. The internet is packed up on DIY for self care that can be easily done at home.

5. Start going on a date when you feel like it.

6. Socialize in a positive way – never drink alcohol or use drugs to “forget”. At this time of quarantine, socialize via the social media. Keep in mind to edit the settings so that your news feed will just be from people who give positive vibes in your life.


7. Surround yourself with people who help you to forget your ex and keep away from people who give you false hope about winning your ex back.

8. Learn ways to keep yourself from remembering your ex. Every time he/ she enters your mind, divert your thoughts to other things.

Always remember that people change. And if some people suddenly realize that you no longer serve the purpose you once had in their life, it does not mean that you are a lesser person. It just means that people change, people grow... and you will do the same. Someday, you will realize that the broken heart you have right now have made you a better person. Someday, God will bless you with someone who can love you forever, HE will bless you at HIS MOST PERFECT PLACE AND TIME... and you will just laugh at your self for crying like a baby in the past. But while you wait, BE STRONG and LOVE YOUR SELF... KNOW THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT, AND YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AGAIN.

Let a broken heart bring out the best you got... 

Of Broken Hearts and Solitude

Lately, we have all been reading sad posts on social media, talking about self-pity, feelings of being unloved and being alone even in the presence of the people who should be there to love them. Lately, all we hear from the news are human sufferings, hatred, and fears. Sometimes.. if not often times, we are all so overwhelmed with what is happening to our world and even in our own life. It is a sad world… it is a sad reality that some even try to end their life because of all this chaos happening around us.

Almost all my life, I am amazed at how most of my friends, even acquaintances, would suddenly open up to me about their own loneliness and hang-ups. I am flattered, but at the same time, I feel like I am feeling how they feel and I always wish that I could do something about their sufferings. I remember the days when I was so young… always wishing that I could be a fairy who could just use a wand to make others happy. And despite that, I am one of the many people who could cast deep sadness and even heartbreaking loneliness to people around me.

There is always a shadow of uncertainty even in our own triumphant times… there is always something that is missing in our deepest soul no matter how much we try to appreciate what we have. There is a time when we feel that we could not turn to anyone at all… we feel alone, and suddenly, the world around us seems to have turned upside down and we are left groping in the dark. I remember a line that said that “the loneliest emotion that could ever happen to someone is feeling alone in the company of the people who are supposed to love them.” And it is true, whether we admit it or not, there will always be a time when we are craving to cry out loud but no one will ever listen. There are times when we just need someone there to listen without judgment, and even without trying to understand… these are the moments when we just want to be comforted with a hug or a pat on the shoulder, just because no words nor any kind of understanding can comfort us, only to feel so much more alone because no one will be there to do these things for us.

You may be wondering why I write all these… all about being broken and being lonely. In this time of chaos, in the midst of Covid19, we can not deny the fact that we feel all these. We are anxious, we are scared.. and to top it all up, we have our own struggles that at times, no single soul can understand. I am writing this to let a lonely soul know, that he is NOT ALONE. The world is just too overwhelmed. Yes, we are all overwhelmed at what is happening around us that we often forget to let others feel our presence. We are all feeling alone at times because we are all too busy coping with our own struggles. We always feel incomplete but we should rest with the fact that we are not the only ones feeling that way and it would help a lot not to rely on others to be a shoulder to lean on because they are also struggling like we do and we have myriad coping styles.

Sometimes, we need to realize that even our toughest friend who is always able to lend us a hand each time we fall, also needs comfort and loving gestures. Sometimes, we have to be aware that the listening ear to us, also needs someone to listen, and the arms that comfort us also needs the same comforting.

In this most trying times, it is a courageous act to choose to go on with life. It is the time to realize that we should start relying on ourselves and start loving what and who we are because there will always be times when we will have no one but ourselves to comfort us. And as we do that, we should be comforted by the fact that there is that invincible loving arms who listen to us especially when no single man would. We have an omnipotent God who can give us all, and we should stop expecting things from other people because HE never fails to help the ones who help themselves. Whenever we need a place to rest, we should go running in HIS loving embrace, pick our broken pieces, and brave life once again. Keep crying as much as we could, but we should choose life after all.

This life is truly tough but hush your heart, rest your spirit because God has made us tougher than life. We just need to realize how beautifully we are made with a creative mind and a courageous heart. Stop expecting others to love and listen to you. Start listening to HIM, start feeling His presence in your life. There is no guarantee that you will be happy, but there is a guarantee of security and love, and that someday, you will find joy and happiness in your heart. 

We are all warriors trying to cope with life.  May you enjoy this video and may you be courageous to learn to love your self enough... ALWAYS.