Months ago, I came across this article that was sent at “Mother Knows Best” by Ephraim Kahana, and it made me laugh really hard. Let me share it with you, anyway, it is MOTHER’s DAY, and it is the best time to remember our loving moms. Here it goes:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shops with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".
_________________________________________________________
LOL! This one reminded me when I was a little kid, and how my mom used to say, “Hey, if you three want to fight, go yell at each other outside, anyway, we don’t take care of you just to kill each other!”… And me and my siblings would stop arguing, look at each other and pretend that we are not about to laugh. That was how our mom would make us stop arguing ~ “reverse psychology” at its best, and everything will be back in peace and order in our lovely home.
How I miss being a kid… I would love to spend those humorous days again that have molded me into a more mature adult. These things may make us laugh, but we can never deny the fact that our moms who often said these “funny” little things have influenced us much more than we could imagine.
On a more serious note, let me share what my own mom has taught me. I could mention just a few, but I hope I could touch the very heart of every child that I hope will always appreciate his own mom no matter how much he age. Here are some of the things that my mother taught me:
- She taught me how to be more than just physically beautiful without giving out a single cent from my wallet…( errr… or from her own bank account by keeping in mind the following):
- Exercising at least two to three times a week is a better pore cleanser than the deep pore cleansing treatment done monthly by one’s dermatologist, or than massaging one’s face with a pore cleanser everyday and then dabbing a toner after. Regular exercise does not only clean the pores of one’s face but all the pores in one’s body, aside from that it tones one’s muscles helping one to achieve a better figure and healthier body.
- Sleeping naked is okay, but make sure that you do it in your own room ALONE. Lol! Of course I was still single when I heard this from my mom. This one helps our skin pores breathe, better than applying those soaps and skin cleansers that claim to help your skin breathe.
- Forgiving and prayers are more rejuvenating than spending so much time and money at the spa. Forgiveness frees one’s heart from carrying baggage that is not essential in one’s own life struggle, and prayers keep one close to God who never lack anything, therefore, no prayerful being could ever lack anything as long as he keeps close to God and follow Him in every way he can. God provides everything we need so this thought will make us carefree and more relaxed lessening one’s chance to have unwanted wrinkles. Having the heart to forgive and knowing that one is secured in HIS own loving care rejuvenates one’s mind, soul and spirit. Aside from that, it lessens one’s chance to acquire any illness that day to day stresses could cause. She says, these are the secrets for looking younger than your age too! Hehe!
- She taught me that the art of being liked starts with truly liking what I really am and that pretending to be someone I am not will just make me miserable.
- She taught me how to choose clothes that flatter my (according to her) assets and remain respect worthy even to people that I pass by.
- She taught me when not and when to use a fuschia pink lip color. ;)
- She taught me how to be assertive without being aggressive.
- She taught me how to tell the truth even if it will hurt big time because it is better to feel bad as long as one knows the truth than to be happy with lies.
- She taught me to pretend to be dumb when people starts to abuse my rights, but use all the knowledge that I have when they start to abuse my "goodness". lol!
- She taught me to fight fair and square and that wearing a "bullet proof" belt is just for soldiers who deal with real bullets, guns and bombs.
- She taught me that talking behind the back of others makes me pathetic.
- She taught me to be humble because every people who come and go in my life, good or bad are the people who made me what I am today.
- She showed me that the adage that says, "Rude people are like sandpapers, they rub you hard but they end up useless and you become polished because of them..." is true.
- She taught me to giv a good fight as long as you know that you are on the right side.
Of course, there are much more than these that my mom taught me, but there is one thing that I will never stop keeping in my heart and mind- she will always be the BEST mom in the world who taught me how to live with grace and courage through the good and the bad just by living a life that is worthy of all the prestige and honor that anyone could give. My mom has not given me all the best material things that a daughter would wish to have, but she has shown me a good, dignified and prestigious life not every mother could show their children. She lives with principles and values that she teaches her children just by living by them - no lectures nor learning sessions needed.
To my loving mom, thank you for showing me how to live with dignity. To have a good life without taking advantage of others, for showing me how to forgive and learn from what cause me pain. For showing me how to keep calm especially in times when my rights are trampled to the extent of looking like a fool yet showing me how to fight back with courage and dignity when these people seem to never stop because they think that I am a fool just because I don’t fight back. Whatever and whoever I am now is more of my mom’s workmanship. I will always live up to what she has taught and gave me. Most people would say, “You are just like your mom…” and I smile back, at the back of my mind I would say to my self, “I hope to be just like my mom…” =)
If you have the BEST MOM IN THE WORLD, feel free to share this blog. Happy Mother’s Day TO ALL WONDERFUL MOMMIES OUT THERE… and to MY MOM and GRANDMA, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, we love you so much, and thanks for everything that you’ve been, for everything that you are and always will be to us!
Copyright by Jen Magante, 2012. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
